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CHAPTER XXIV.
WHICH TREATS OF HOW THE MERRY VOYAGERS MADE MUCH OF MAJOR ROGER
POTTER, AND HOW THEY INVITED HIM TO AN INTERVIEW WITH THE COMMODORE
OF THE FLEET.
THE captain and he of the tall figure had sufficiently exchanged
compliments, when good Dame Snider came on deck, and invited the
strangers into the cabin to partake of the refreshments she had
there prepared. But Flora, who was much diverted by the good woman's
earnestness, spoke up and declared the hospitalities of the occasion
must be left to her, for she had charge of the larder; and so well
stocked was it, that they could feed six aldermen for a week without
fear of stint. Nat Bradshaw, too, raised the cigar exquisitely from
his lips, and in his finicking manner said, the "Saucy Kate" was
famous for the quality of her stores, nor ever permitted a stranger
to do the hospitalities. In truth, it must be confessed that Nat had
what is called a streak of generosity mixed with all his weaknesses.
"No, mother, (you won't think me bold for calling you mother?) leave
the refreshments to me, and I am satisfied," interposed Flora,
taking the honest hearted woman cordially by the hand. Then she
doffed the little hat, that rolled up so pertly at the sides, and
had given her such a saucy air; and as she did so, there fell upon
her shoulders such a profusion of golden curls as would have crazed
the heart of a Frenchman. The exquisiteness of her beauty was now
fully disclosed. Her complexion resembled alabaster, and in addition
to a face so oval that a sculptor could not have improved it, her
great blue eyes, which, as I have said before, sparkled like pure
crystals, were set off with finely curved arches, giving perfection
to a brow poets call Grecian, and over which two broad wavy plaits
of golden hair floated, as it were. Her nose, too, was of that high
born order we recognize in the delicate but prominent lines, and,
together with her mouth and chin, were such that the most fastidious
could not have detected an imperfection. And as the moonbeams played
upon her features, lighting them up as it were, she seemed a
creature more of heaven than earth.
"Flora! Flora! my dear cousin," spoke he of the tall figure, seeing
her thus doff her hat, "you must not, for I am anxious lest you
catch cold."
"Cold?" she interrupted with a coquettish smile; "not I, indeed. The
colds have a liking for Nat Bradshaw. They can get through him with
so little difficulty, that they never take to me while he's by."
"Now, ah! 'pon my soul, that's clever. Say how I owe you one." Thus
Nat replied, stopping in a desperate effort to light a short cigar
without damaging the down he persisted in calling his mustache. He
also raised his hat, and throwing his body into the shape of a
triangle, made one of these bows which are peculiar to members of
the Union Club.
Rose now came to the assistance of the merry hearted Flora, who
quickly doffed the blue jerkin that, girded round her waist, had
given her such a sailor-like air, and disclosed a bust of such
perfect symmetry, that it would have served as a model for a statue
of Diana. And this was charmingly displayed in a sleeved corset of
dark green color, cut after the fashion of a habit, with an incision
in front, disclosing a stomacher of fine Spanish lace, set with rows
of tiny brilliants. Her gauntlets quickly followed her jerkin,
exposing tiny, swan white fingers, sparkling with jewels. And
although herself unconscious of the cause, such was the perfection
of her beauty, that I stood as if transfixed, gazing upon her in
mute admiration, until my emotions melted into confusion. Nor was
Nat Bradshaw unaffected by it, for I saw him cast an envious eye now
and then. As for the major, he either stood bowing with his hat in
his hand, or was getting in every one's way, and was anxious lest
his introduction be delayed another minute. He afterwards told me in
great confidence that, when Flora doffed her hat and gauntlets, he
would have sworn her nothing less than an angel he would have taken
to his arms, and pledged his military honor to worship until death,
had not Polly Potter stood in the way.
Again, Flora struck up her song, and tripping on board the "Saucy
Kate," which, with her sails half brailed up, had been left in
charge of two boatmen, brought back with her a curious little
packet, she soon spread into a table, and, with the assistance of
Rose and Nat Bradshaw, had it mounted in a trice with cold iris
ribbed beef, boned turkey, chickens, bird pies, jellies, and a
basket of delicious fruit; to which was added lemons, and sundry
bottles of champagne, and sherry that had been cooled in ice.
And while these preparations were proceeding, Major Potter, whom I
had not yet had an opportunity to introduce, whispered something in
the ear of Captain Snider, who, on turning to him of the tall
figure, said, "And now sir, since an opportunity offers, perhaps you
will permit me to introduce you to my distinguished passenger, Major
Roger Sherman Potter; whose name is come famous in our part of the
country, where he is acknowledged to be the greatest living
politician."
"Major Roger Potter, I am commonly called," repeated the Major,
placing his left hand to his heart, and, with a motion of his right,
in which he held his hat, making one of his politest bows. "And as I
see (and it required no effort) that you are no common people, my
reputation is, doubtless, familiar to you, for much has been written
of me in the newspapers. As to what you say of me as a politician, I
will leave my right to such honors in the hands of others, since,
being a military man, it would not become me to speak of myself."
"Major Potter!" exclaimed the stranger, extending his hand, and
shaking that of the major so earnestly as to make him verily believe
he stood before one who had long been familiar with his history. "I
would indeed be confessing myself stupid to say I was not acquainted
with a name so famous in the political world. Truly, sir, if one so
humble as myself may be permitted, I will here say, that nothing
could have afforded me so much pleasure as this meeting, for there
is nothing I so much reverence as the man who has deserved well of
his country." The stranger, who was something of a wag, was not long
in discovering the major's weakness, though he addressed him with
great deference. But as the major held politeness as something which
chivalry demanded of all military men that they never let themselves
be outdone in, and for any little neglect of which they were held to
a severe account, he, after making a becoming number of bows,
replied in this wise: "And since you know me so well, and the
etiquette of the profession commands that we speak not of ourselves,
will you honor me with your name and the profession you follow?"
"Without the slightest hesitation, sir. I was educated to the law;
but since the bar of our city is come to be not what it should be, I
have thought it as well to live on my money, and save my character.
As to my name, they call me Frank Story."
"Combining all that is great, glorious, and honorable!" exclaimed
the major. "In the village where I was born, your name is as
familiar as that of the landlord of the tavern. Having done much for
your country, I make no doubt you have sustained the honors left you
by the great dead!"
"I see, sir," returned he of the tall figure, "that you take me for
a descendant of the good and much lamented Story."
"Truly so," interrupted the major.
"Which I am not," rejoined the speaker.
"It makes no difference; for I hold it just as well that a man
inherit the characteristics of a great man from a similarity of name
and profession as by having the same blood in his veins. I hold to
this philosophy, which I find squares with that accepted by most of
our great politicians at this day. On my reputation as a military
man, sir, I came to respect these principles from first hearing them
advanced by General Cheves McDuffy Quattlebum, while in the Mexican
War, which I had the honor to fight in. Yes, sir; I had the honor of
fighting in that war, and have seen many a man killed!" Here the
major gave his head a significant toss, and placing his hat under
his arm, thrust his hand into the inevitable pockets of his
trowsers. "And as it was said of this Quattlebum that he was the
greatest living politician known in his state, which, if my memory
serves me, and it's not bad, was South Carolina, I make no doubt you
will give great weight to the opinion. In truth, sir, you must know
that this General Quattlebum was so well thought of in his state,
that she would make no exception to his greatness, not even for so
great a general as Pringle, Allston Commander, who rose from an
honest man and a blacksmith, to be a great military politician,
embodying in himself all the necessary elements for dissolving the
Union, so desirable an object with the people of Carolina."
He of the tall figure listened with commendable gravity to this
strange display of sense and nonsense, which afforded him much
amusement. When the major concluded, he presented me as the greatest
living politician Cape Cod, or indeed any other district of
Massachusetts, had ever given to the world. He, however, corrected
himself, lest what he had said might compromise his own preeminence,
and added that I had joined him merely to gain that experience so
necessary to the perfection of all great minds. This done, he
commenced to give an account of his horse and pig, whose rare
qualities he failed not to extol highly; all of which afforded the
listener an infinite amount of amusement. Begging the major to
excuse him for a few moments, Frank Story slipped slily to where
Flora and Rose were setting the table, and calling the former aside,
held a conversation with her that showed they were intent upon
mischief, for she was heard to say, "Let me alone, and you shall see
how I will play my part."
And now that the refreshments were ready, (seats being dispensed
with on such occasions,) the party gathered round the table, and
were served by Flora with so much ease and grace as to surprise even
her own companions, who had not thought her capable of such skill in
the duties of "a lady of the house." The major commenced to eat with
his eyes fast fixed upon Flora, to whom he anxiously waited for an
introduction. Meanwhile Nat Bradshaw, exhibiting great familiarity
with corkscrews and cigars, had uncorked the first bottle of
champagne, for which the major had expressed a preference, seeing
that it was a favorite drink with the army. He of the tall figure
now lifted his effervescing glass, and having cast a glance at the
major and a wink at Flora, said: "Now, my pretty cousin, prepare for
a surprise!" Flora looked up as if confounded, while the others held
their peace. "I will not keep you longer in suspense," resumed the
speaker, "but inform you that the great statesman whom we seek, and
for whose reception in New York the city treasury has been flung
wide open, and which it is the object of the Yacht Club to enhance
by tendering him an escort, now stands before you. My cousin, I now
present you to Major Roger Sherman Potter, whose political and
military fame even the most malicious writers have not dared to
defame-"
"Commonly called Major Roger Potter," whispered the major, with a
bow.
Having offered a sufficient number of apologies for the error, he of
the tall figure in turn introduced his cousin Flora and her friend
Rose to the major. The ladies affected not to believe their senses,
and for some moments looked at one another in doubt, while the
major, for the first time in his life, acknowledged himself
completely overwhelmed by the compliment, as well as the strange
news it conveyed. Twice he bowed, and twice his tongue refused to
serve him. But in order the better to express his feelings, he had
recourse to that method most common with our great actors, who lay
their hands upon their waistcoats, look devoutly into the pit, and
seem very generally ready to thank the gods for all their favors.
"And now, sir," spoke Flora, with great softness of manner, "since
fortune has been so kind as to afford me this great and unexpected
pleasure of being the first introduced to one so renowned, I will
propose a toast, and with your permission couple it with your name.
I propose that we drink, with three cheers: 'All honor to him who
has worthily served his country, in whose history his name will be
enshrined for the benefit of unborn generations.'" Having concluded,
Flora gave her glass a twirl over her head, and three cheers were
given so heartily that they went directly to the major's heart, and
made him declare within himself that there could now be no doubt of
his own greatness.
"Madam, upon my honor I am no flatterer, but being a military man,
gallantry demands of me some acknowledgement of this compliment you
have paid me, and which it would be my life's happiest event to
make, were it not that your beauty so embarrasses me. Indeed, madam,
I have, while in Mexico, led various forlorn hopes, charged the
enemy's lines, and looked a shower of bullets in the teeth without
winking; and all these dangers I would repeat a dozen times rather
than face the fire of your beauty, to which every hero, however
great, must surrender himself a captive."
"What you say of my beauty, I might say of your valor, than which
there is to woman no stronger object of admiration. To pay homage to
valor is womanly on the part of our sex. And never in my life have I
felt, though I have seen some brave men, that I was paying homage to
greatness with so much honor to myself. I have read in the
newspapers that our nation, like a sinking ship, was by you saved
from inevitable fate-"
"Indeed, madam, I leave it to others to say what I have done for the
nation. But you will not find me wanting when called upon; and, as I
have always said, give me but a chance, and they shall have enough
of my greatness!"
"Truly, sir," rejoined Flora, "I hold it fortunate that the nation
should have found so honest a man. But as government is something
our sex take no part in, perhaps you can tell me if there be any
truth in the report, that politicians have no higher aims in these
days than plundering the government; and that patriotism being a
thing quite unknown, the great object with our congressmen is how
they can best put money in their pockets, in the pursuit of which
they are so insatiable as to sell their manliness in exchange for
it?"
"Since you have set me down for an honest man, madam, which is no
small compliment, I will say that my wife, Polly Potter, who is
something of a politician, and as true a wife as needs be, always
says of me, that my honesty will be my fortune. And as she has a
queer way of expressing herself, she has many times said to me,
'Roger, when them politicians get to strippin' the nation to her
very skin, do thou be the man to come forward and hold down the
apron, and keep her shame from being altogether exposed.' And this I
have pledged her I would do, and may heaven protect her. As for
stripping the nation to the skin, or even taking away her clothes,
that, though I am neither prophet nor editor, they shall never do
while Major Potter has an arm and a tongue."
Flora blushed, and for some minutes held her peace, as well she
might. And as he had gorged himself to that degree that serious
consequences were apprehended, and was somewhat disturbed at the
questions Flora would put at the moment when his mouth was most
full, and which true politeness command that he reply to, the
silence which prevailed afforded him an excellent opportunity for
despatching his meal in peace. Nat Bradshaw, whose countenance wore
a sinister smile, added to the joke by constantly filling the
major's glass and pledging him in a toast.
When the major had finished his supper, Flora, whose nature was of
such a turn that she could not give much rest to her mischief,
entreated him that he relate for their entertainment some of the
wonderful exploits of which he was the hero during the Mexican War.
"Your grace and beauty, madam, and I am no flatterer, demands that I
comply with your request, though it is against the rules of the
profession, which set forth that the deeds of all great military men
are the property of the nation," replied the major. But as his
vanity was stronger than his respect for the rules of the service,
he at once commenced and went on to relate some of the most
wonderful exploits ever achieved by mortal valor, all of which he
described as having taken place during the war with Mexico, though I
venture to assert that they have never been recorded in any
published history of that war. Nor will it be necessary to add, that
he made himself the hero of every one of them. Indeed, if there was
a forlorn hope he had not led, or a plan of attack that had not been
suggested by him long before it was executed, they were not worthy
of mention in this history. And he would interpolate by saying: "All
these things I relate no man will deny, but as history takes care of
my General Scott, so such as me, who have braved the brunt of it,
must see to ourselves." And these marvelous adventures the major
would have gone on relating until the hour of morning, when sparrows
rise, had not he of the tall figure put an end to Flora's mischief,
by remarking, that as the wind was freshening, and the squadron had
tacked ship, it was necessary they return and report what had taken
place to the commodore, who would no doubt receive it as great good
news. "And now, sir," said he, taking the major by the hand, "this
meeting will long live in my memory; and since I see you need rest
from your labors, the night, too, being far advanced, we will return
and report, for I see the fleet is put on the other tack, and our
commodore is strict in the enforcement of his orders. But if it meet
your pleasure, the squadron will to-morrow at ten o'clock form port
and starboard lines, fire a salute, and proceed in escort. This
done, the commodore will come on board and pay the respect due to
your distinguished position." The major replied, that the honor, so
unexpected, and in truth so unmerited, he could not but confess
would be most gratifying to him; he would therefore prepare himself
for the occasion, hoping they would excuse any little deficiency,
for barring now and then he was not clever at an impromptu speech.
The party now took leave of him for the night, and having handsomely
rewarded Dame Snider for the trouble they had given her, set sail on
board the Saucy Kate, her white sails flashing in the moonbeams as
she made for the fleet, and the music of Flora's voice floating
sweetly over the sea.
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Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis
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